I’m a little hesitant to write this, it benefits me and I won’t deny that. But, if I have a trick or secret that is AMAZING, it’s not really nice to you or loving you to keep it from you. So, I’m writing it. Hear me out!
Oils have completely changed the way we parent and work with new placements. This time around was so different. This sleep regression was so different. We have so many little bottles of tools that help us deal with all the emotional things that being a foster kid and a foster parent bring with them.
Baby boy, our newest placement, was not a super awesome night sleeper when we first got him. Conditions had to be just so and even then he would wake. I don’t know why, but I seem to get all of the sleep fighters, maybe because I don’t sleep well myself. Now, the condition for baby boy to sleep is Cedarwood, Lavender and Stress Away in the diffuser. Seriously, he’s out like a light. No fighting, no rocking him to sleep for 40 minutes, nothing. Same for my son, those three are the winning combo! We even put some on his big toe with a little coconut oil!
During this last sleep regression, it seemed that wasn’t enough for my son. He is strong-willed just like his Mama. When I’m all worked up and going through something, the only oil that works for me is Surrender. So I put a little Surrender on him and that was the end of that. He has been going to sleep and staying asleep just like he was before the regression started. So, instead of weeks, me losing my mind, feeling like an awful parent and a failure, him not sleeping for weeks, etc. we had it handled in 3 days! Sooner, if I would have thought it through!
That’s not even all of it! Don’t get me started on the tummy problems foster kids and babies naturally have – handled, naturally, done -no worry of side effects. Teething, handled – no worries about my child having seizures from the so-called “natural option.” Allergies – normally, if our kids are under 2 they are left to suffer with little relief, not in this house.
Beyond all of that, there is SO MUCH to the emotional well-being of these children. Given that we take younger ones, they are unable to express or verbally work through all of it. Which then leads to us, the foster parents, being traumatized by it all. This has been my biggest struggle. How to help my son on his trauma-versary, on the days and nights he was working through so much. If you are a foster parent, you know what I’m talking about. Release has been my personal favorite for all of this. I like to put some in my sons bath or diffuse it for the baby after visits. There are multiple others that have helped so incredibly much, too! Before, I was left to sit, baffled by whatever my son was working through with him not allowing me to hold or comfort him. It hurt both of us. Now, we have a release bath and we cuddle. Amazing.
I take release baths often as well! Let’s be real. I’m not perfect and there’s a lot to work through with bio-parents, social workers, etc. – a lot to release because I have no control, no say and I am so invested. But, I get out of that bath feeling better and with enough hope and strength to pick up my baby and give him what he needs without holding back because of pain. That is the winning ticket in foster care.
Leave a comment if you are interested or want to try oils. I’m not pushing you into trying these but they have changed everything for us and it’s selfish to keep that to myself.